The Greatest Love of All

Jesenia Emme

Eight months pregnant. Nineteen. Alone. Bewildered and still recovering from the madness of the eighties. Did that wall calendar really claim to be July 1991?  Perhaps the summer in Washington Heights was just getting to me mentally and physically. Every one of my 10 toes looked like salchichas and the matching puddles in the left and right cups of my bra assured me this is in fact my reality. 

What is reality anyway? My high school boyfriend dumped me days before senior prom. Dad divorced Mom right after I graduated high school in ’89; he abandoned me, mom, and my 11-year-old brother to start a new family with a younger woman.   My older brother could have assumed the “man of the house” role, but a couple of years earlier he started a family, joined the military, and moved to Virginia Beach.  Mom somewhat lost it after Dad left, which left me to contribute financially and take care of my little brother.   In true Lioness fashion, I took charge and said to myself “family first, I will work full time and college can wait”.  

Somewhere along the lines I found time to date everyone from drug dealers to the adorable guy at the deli counter.  I subsequently found the Spanish version of 18-year-old John Stamos while vacationing in Puerto Rico. I knew Spanish Stamos would be trouble but there was something wildly attractive about a bad boy that I couldn’t resist. We were reckless. Months later I informed him we had created life. He was ecstatic.  I was terrified. I didn’t trust him; I knew he would abandon me, and I would be a single mom.

Where is the light in all of this?! 

My best friend Cindy! Oh Cindy… she was a Fierce Latina! The Thelma to my Louise. The Hillary Whitney to my CC Bloom. Cindy was a force but at the same time my serenity in every storm.  Cindy was pregnant with her first son when I shared the news of my own pregnancy. God, she was delighted! Cindy carried on about the joys of motherhood, the gift of life, raising our kids together, blah blah blah. I believed her.  I trusted her.

I thought to myself, “with a baby to care for, I’ll be old if/when I ever get to college.” But a still small voice told me God had a plan for me, for my baby, and I must trust in Him

I learned that I must be strong & courageous, for my God is with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9). Only God could fill any void in my life. I sat in the rocking chair, Sony Walkman in hand inclusive of big headphones to put on my big belly.  I would play music for my baby.  One song that comes to mind is Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All”. Learning to love yourself as God loves you, it is the greatest love of all.  God is love (1 John 4:8). 

Isaiah 55:8

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

The Thelma to My Louise; The Hillary to my CeCe; My Light, Mi Amiga

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Published by Jesenia Emme

11 thoughts on “The Greatest Love of All”

  2. What a lovely testimony my beautiful friend! You kept me waiting to read more. God bless you always, Jessy. You definitely have come a long way. God’s plan came to fruition! His plans are always better than ours.
    Proverbs 16:9
    NLT
    We can make our plans,
    but the Lord determines our steps.

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  5. Jessy

    Thank you for being so brave and willing to share truth about you and your experience. I myself was a teen mom, and reading this made me realize more that I shouldn’t fear about going back to school with 3 young children at home or embarrassed of what age I will be when I finish. What matters is that I get my degree.
    May God continue to bless you and guide you with wisdom.

    Love You

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  7. You are so inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story to the world. I can’t wait fir then to hear the rest. You are truly an inspiration and a role model to many. Keep sharing your light to the world.

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  8. Bravo to the first chick I met with an actual library of books she purchased to keep!🤯 I was a library queen. Borrow, return. (RETURN QUEEN😉) Spend no money and hoard no space (quite the opposite today! 🙄)
    It is no surprise you express yourself in such an awe inspiring fashion. Eloquently told! Attention snatching! A little bit of hood with a whole lot of class! No shame in your story telling game! No need cause Jesus covered you with all the grace needed and then some! Truly happy you are on your path to fulfill your life long passion! Sitting at the edge of my seat for the next blog!!! Go get ’em sista! LOVE YA LOTS!

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  10. This is such a great testimony! You are an inspiration to so many! (Definitely to me) You do so much and do it so graceful. May God continue to bless you and your family! I can’t wait to see what comes next! ♥️

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